I Am Not My Weight Loss…BUT WHO I BECAME, CAUSED IT…
I’VE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE…
I have felt you give up time and time again…One diet after another, but too stressed to follow through.I have been there with you being pelt by the ads to LOSE WEIGHT…
I’ve choked back the tears while feeling out of place at the gym or sad in the dressing room. I’ve seen the eye rolls and eye brows when you announce for the 50th time you’re watching what you eat. I’ve struggled at the parties surrounded by food, alcohol, and friends that say “diet starts Monday!”I’ve read the quotes that say, “LOVE YOURSELF”, but nothing and NO ONE tells you HOW TO DO THAT.I’ve heard people say, “It gets easier”, while it only felt harder.
I’ve been with you when you looked into the mirror and felt the drive didn’t match the body. I’ve felt tired and drained of energy while carrying the weight of expectations, emotional eating, and stress…I’ve bought the plans, subscribed to the workouts, the apps, lost some weight then gained it back (PLUS some), re-written the goals, and drank the damn wine when it all fell through…
You name it, I failed it.
"I know what it's like to live your life, constantly judging your worth from the shaky expectations of a shallow society and and to all the same truly want to have more energy to show up in your life with!"
While I was trying to lose the weight, I only lost MYSELF...wtf?
For over a decade I mentored women to be the best version of themselves…ironically. I truly cared, but wasn’t doing that for myself. Sound familiar?
IN THE EYES OF EVERYONE: I was good at everything, the beauty queen, the lucky one, “most likely to become famous”, the pretty friend, the singer, and athletic.
BEHIND CLOSED DOORS : I felt a need to excel in order to meet the standard everyone had given me. Turns out high standards don’t make you immune to low self esteem. This resulted in; constantly comparing myself to others, chronic dieting, abusing diet pills by 15 years old, eating disorders, over exercising, and often ballooning and dropping in weight. Being hospitalized for dehydration, blackouts from lack of nutrients, and getting kidney infections as a result of my terrible self maintenance, became the norm. It was bad, I know, But stay with me…
When I met my husband, I was in the “ best shape of my life” and was in my last year as a title holder for the Miss America Organization with job offers on the table. Yep.
NEXT STEP: Get married, be the perfect wife, be the perfect mom….right?! …nope.
Time For The Reality Check
FAST FORWARD >> It was during our first year of marriage that I experienced a severe knee injury and had to have surgery while pregnant. THEN, I had an unplanned c-section while my husband was deployed, followed by ANOTHER c-section 16 months later, while he was deployed AGAIN, and finally a tubal ligation. A whole lot of surgeries, limitations, and muscle atrophy later, I was 5’2” and 225 pounds with the cardio of a log, and high cholesterol knocking on my door.
Days turned into years and before I knew it, I didn’t know who I was looking at in the mirror. My circumstance was my excuse and revolving thoughts sounded something like;
"Who am I? How can I love this? What does my husband think? How do I come back from this? Where do I even start? Will I become diabetic? Will I have a heart attack? How long do I have? What’s next for me? What’s the point of even trying?"
And just a friendly piece of advice, questions and thoughts like these, keep you stuck. BUT AFTER 2.5 YEARS OF LOSING AND GAINING THE SAME 20-40 LBS…. I FINALLY HAD A BREAKTHROUGH!!!
How? By experiencing something my mentor, Brooke Castillo calls, "POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH"
Otherwise explained in my own terms as a trauma experienced in ones life that results in self actualization and concentrated PERSONAL GROWTH, as a byproduct of trying to heal oneself. My trauma? My mom passed away. She was a type 2 brittle diabetic and lost her 3rd battle with cancer.
It wasn’t about opinions anymore, it was about FACTS.
Desperate for answers, I discovered personal development.
I learned that a new and healthy way of living wasn't what I thought. It was about dropping a negative MENTAL STATE that created negative lifestyle habits and creating a WHOLE NEW MINDSET. THIS is what caused a massive shift in my PHYSICAL STATE.
TIPS:
THINGS THAT DON’T DEFINE US: Ads, Opinions, Facebook posts, the scale, rumors, SOCIETY, or what the bully said in 9th grade or the one at work…
WHAT DOES DEFINE US: Our Thoughts. How we think of ourselves creates the DIRECT results we see in our lives and what we believe to be true!
My findings:
I’d become an INSPIRATIONAL FORCE and help others REDEFINE their LIFE again!
If you show up in health, you show up in life.
Whatever your circumstance is, doesn't have to be your ending. That has yet to be determined.
What your thoughts are create your present reality and they increase or equally decrease the likelihood of you reaching your goals, depending on what they are. So, don't let your thoughts happen to you. You get to choose what to think and how to experience your every day life, and empower your goals, by curating your thoughts accordingly.
Love,
Jess The Life Coach