“Your Post Is Pending Approval” Proceed With Caution

The Story of How I Left My Dreams In The Hands of Major Moguls and Nothing Happened.

This is a real account of my personal experience. For fear of backlash I am keeping all names and program names anonymous. These are some of the BIGGEST names in the online course and entrepreneur industry.


This blog is for first time female entrepreneurs who are determined to create real and lasting success in their lives. Mentally, physically, and financially. The entire entrepreneurial industry was not built for us. Most LARGE events and conventions have missed the mark for what we need to hear as a whole entire woman. Read my story and chase your dreams wisely!


When we break into how to do this whole thing, some of the first people we learn from are men. They make great points, they’re super motivated, and they’ve got all of the packages for us to buy into. Sooner or later, we find ourselves on the other end of a course, or membership, where we end up getting stuck, have minimal success, and are generally left feeling that we don’t really know where else to go. Eventually, we end up as just another screen name inside of countless online communities that promise the love support community and mentorship that we long for, while being policed on announcing the idea that they helped us create in the first place. Your post is pending approval by admin, becomes your gateway to feeling seen. Those promises soon fade, we stop checking in, and the feeling of being special struggles to reignite itself.




When Mogul Mania Had A Hold of My Dreams


I have done all of this before from starting out and buying the courses that targeted me and my demographic, just like they targeted you. I would buy in, complete them, and remain faithful and active inside of these communities. With the driving force of losing my mom, I committed myself to the deepest level of my mission, known as my why. I was genuinely focused on helping those around me, especially women. Thus, a niche was born. In my unique circumstance I was chosen out of nearly 1000 applicants to be flown out to Arizona to work with a large well-known industry-leading mogul. The applicants had been chosen to share their story of success on the MSS stage!


I had come to learn that a majority of the people in this community were women, And I knew that they needed someone like me to help fill the gaps that had been left empty. When I showed up to Arizona I quickly realized that I was 1 of 4 women and only 1 of 4 people of color. There were 20 of us total and in my gut, I knew something was off.


As I was flown out there several more times to coach this guy's clients, I showed up again and again. Every time I showed up I gave it all I had, and when we were told that we were going to have the opportunity to speak on stage at a global summit, I knew that it was my time. I had provided immense value, and I over delivered to both the community and the clients in person at these workshops.


Right around the time they were supposed to announce the speakers, there was a shift. It was only after I had completed an intense speaker trainer program run by two other men where I even brought one to dinner as he suggested you do when you’re trying to network and leverage position. As Les Brown would say, I was hungry. I was prepared to do whatever I needed to do in order to get on a stage and reach more women around the world and make the impact I knew was needed.



The Time I Tried To Shoot My Shot


So after a speaker trainer WORKSHOP, and Steve Thomas stood there unexpectedly, I approached him and invited him out to pizza with myself and the group. He had mentioned earlier that day jokingly that he was hungry and craving some fire roasted pizza. He had also mentioned that in order to stand out to the people that you want to see you, you need to approach them in an authentic way that would provide an experience they wouldn’t forget like sending them a special gift or treating them to their favorite food. So that’s what I did. I was the only one in the group who got a rental car that weekend. Me being who I am, told everyone to pile in and I gave the front seat to Steve, and got in the trunk of my Range Rover SUV and laughed the whole 4 blocks to The restaurant.


That night was wonderful and full of laughter, my peers and friends respected the hustle as I pitched myself to Steve. Since he was the founder of the speaker trainer program which was training the speakers for the initial company I was coaching for, I was sure that his recommendation would lend me the spot that I was looking for. He still chewed his pizza answering with his hands up in the air and said that it would be up to Mr.D‘s team. I spoke about how I was a Latina and had faced so much socioeconomic adversities to get where I was. I continued to speak about the contrast in the ratios of men to women inside of these online communities. I spoke about how being successful for women looks different than it does for most men. I described how we require a powerful yet delicate balance of wellness, personal and professional relationships, and in our businesses in order to create and sustain success that is valuable to us. I even pointed out that I co-founded a membership for women, called membership for women that aimed to help ambitious women find this balance. Fervent head nodding faded into friendly conversation, and I read the room. I decided to sit back and enjoy the company of my friends instead of pushing for a clear answer.



Radio Silence


As that particular trip continued, I knew what I needed to do next. I had gotten to know the lead project coordinator of Mr.D’s team. She was focused, sweet, and the woman who booked Mr.D’s guest speakers for all of his events. I had a direct line to her and I wasn’t about to let it go to waste. As we continued to help MSS clients and share ideas, I asked if I could speak to her one day in an empty conference room. I told her about my talk with Steve, and how I was the only one who had completed his separate speaker training program. I mentioned that he said it would ultimately be up to Mr.D‘s team to choose the keynote speakers for the global stage out of this particular set of people. I finished up by letting her know about how excited I was and I didn’t see how there was much else I could do. From what I could tell, I was the only woman vying for this position, the only woman who did the work on both sides completing both Mr.D and Steve’s programs, and the only one directly asking for this opportunity. She was excited to hear about everything I had done to ensure my readiness for this. With no clear words, she excitedly smiled and shared a genuine moment with me in what looked like a clear picture of what was to come.


As I left Arizona in late winter of 2020 I wasn’t sure what the outcome of my efforts would be, but I knew I had done everything I could to fight for how I wanted to show up in this world. I even made an effort to mention to Mr.D face to face, in the very picture you see on my social media accounts, of my mission to help women while bringing to light the women in his online community of 30,000 strong. Myself and my co-founders were told that now just wasn't the time to address this, which solidified our reasoning behind creating our membership for women. Little did I know, and as we all know now, the world shut down shortly after.


At this time we weren’t sure how long it was going to last. Quickly pivoting, all events had been made virtual and world summits were to be rescheduled for later in the year. Ah, but the online communities were still alive! So I continued to provide value.


A condensed period of stress and guilt passed by and I regained my footing. I kept an eye out for my big break but the only thing that followed my ambition and heartfelt determination was radio silence.


We stopped being flown out to coach and help at workshops so I decided to put my head down to solidify my spot in the soon to come global event, even if it was going to be virtual, I wanted to be ready.


My Mission For Women



Previously, during the winter of 2019 and into the beginning of 2020 I formed a membership for women. Side by side with the most influential women I could have had the honor of working with at the time, Ashley, Sarah, and Jezebel, women who were also affiliated with MSS. I knew it would create the momentum behind my message, and help others since Mr. D wasn’t interested. We started this endeavor with 4 women who felt passionate about the same thing for our own reasons, but each of us saw the lack of leadership for women in the MSS Facebook communities. We wanted to do something about it, and so we did. While the world transitioned to an online teaching environment, so did the membership for women.


New schedules were made for the coaches that were needed at the continuing workshops, but I chose to show up for my own clients and membership for women instead. Eventually, 3 of the 4 original co-founders continued, as we lost Jezebel who eventually chose to remain closely tied to MSS behind the scenes. She mentioned she was more comfortable working with men, and as grown ass women, we went our separate ways.


Meanwhile


I tried to give it time being as the leaders of these companies were trying to pivot during the first part of


the pandemic. Weeks turned to months, and I learned the date of the World Summit by proxy of my peers, with no other information, and emails went unanswered by the Steve Thomas team. I knew in my gut that my chance was gone, especially, after what happened next.


One week, after an MSS online workshop, Ashley, one of my dear friends, coaching peers, and co-founders, reached out to me with some startling news that would send my heart to the pit of my stomach. The MSS workshops had coincidentally adopted a new program, one that highlighted work-life balance in the form of 3 pillars: business, health, and relationships. When I saw that their workbook had the exact same colors and fonts. It hit me… we signed an NDA…but they did not. And there was NOTHING I could do about it. They were so much larger, with more money, and lawyers and here I was…a shiny new baby entrepreneur who didn’t know what she was doing.


After that, it felt like hit after hit. After releasing their new workbook, they announced the MSS world summit speakers. They announced Jenna Kutcher, in a grand announcement and highlighted how she was the perfect voice for female entrepreneurs in this community. They had videos discussing the juggle between entrepreneurship and motherhood hitting every point I had previously made. They hired hype girls and a female coach who was local and readily available for MSS workshops and events. Not only did they replace me with someone whiter, bigger, and better, it looked like it was their own idea, and it was a genius move as their community had a massive influx of women from Jenna’s presence.


Then, when Sarah went to release her book she had worked on the previous year, Mr.D got wind and sent her a slew of rage texts that I witnessed myself when I was visiting and we were on a hike. In a whirlwind of anxiety, stemming from pandemic fear if I had to guess, he accused her of betraying him, first with the women's group (he was talking about the women's membership) then by having the audacity to release her book the month before the launch of MSS 2.0., as if she was trying to sabotage it. At the time, she hadn’t announced it yet. So, how did he know? When she came to me clearly upset, as a friend, coach, and colleague I urged her to leave. Not only was this extremely unhealthy, but someone clearly had access to her private information which she feared was her work computer at MSS headquarters. Sarah figured it out. She set firm boundaries and gave notice. By the time she ended her employment with them, she had built her own agency providing community management to other industry leading entrepreneurs. Mr. D soon made her new business brand colors, his profile ring colors. Yet another stomach turning sign that someone was feeding Mr.D with this information.


Time To Move On


After a year of running a membership for women successfully it was time to focus on our own endeavors, take a break, and generate massive momentum behind the scenes. Each of us decided to be our own big break. We would each set out to continue our mission of women empowerment in our focused areas. Membership for women is reconvening with the first ever retreat that truly encompasses our 3 pillars: Wellness, Relationships, & Business.


To this day, we still don’t know what happened. We don’t know if Sarah’s office computer was hacked or if it was our prior 4th member who decided it was too good of information to be shared. Either way, I was hit with an overwhelming realization.


We Have To Become Our Own Big Break

So, the next time you go to post in a group longing to feel seen and heard. Please don’t let your worth, value, and what you have to offer the world ride on whether it’s accepted or not. In the end, everyone’s looking out for themselves and you’ve got to do the same.


We’re taught that proximity matters, to spend time and surround yourself with influential people. Which is true…to an extent. My offer for you is to learn who you are, never lose your authenticity for a chance at proximity. Regardless of what you’re chasing in life, try to create it on your own before you build your story on a shaking foundation.


Love, Jess